Something for the road...

"Life would go on smoothly if we only knew what to do with it."

"Dealing with in-laws is like walking down a dark hallway with a bucket of industrial-strength glue sitting in the shadows. If you're not careful, you'll step into a very sticky situation."

"I'm an angel, honest! These horns are just to keep my halo up."

"I may not be perfect, but I'm so close it scares me!"

"All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!"

"Why are wrong numbers never busy?"

"I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!"

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."